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For Sale, $12,000,000: One School, Very Used

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[Photos via Kijiji]

This enterprising young graduate of the appropriately-named Scarlett Heights Entrepreneurial Academy figured that since he wouldn't be attending classes any longer, he might as well get into real esate. The savvy former student listed his Etobicoke alma mater in Kijiji's land-for-sale section, with an asking price of $12,000,000 (cash only). Check out the would-be-Trump's ad (it's been up since May 28; guess he hasn't had any takers yet):

I'm Graduating next year, so i won't be needing my school anymore, and i just don't want it to sit there. So I've decided to sell it.
· It comes with 8 Bathrooms (4 of which are locked)
· 80 Rooms
· 8 Science Rooms (Perfect for drug labs)
· A auditorium (if you're into that type of stuff)
· No Valuables inside
· Comes with one room filled with macs
· A Gym with with magical change room (if you're looking to get rid of anything, keep it in the change room and it will magically disappear)
· Comes with its own security guard who patrols the halls for free (guard goose also available, during certain months)
· Guaranteed to find a thot under every staircase of the property
· Huge football/soccer field
· 2 floors, there is no food allowed on the 2nd floor by request of previous owner
· Gourmet Kitchen, that has never seen gourmet Cooking.
· Very Dirty (price is negotiable)
CASH ONLY, ONLY SERIOUS BUYERS CONTACT!!!
*****The School comes with a secret treasure maps that pinpoints the location of Mayor Fords secret Crack Stash from his high school days.

On The Market archives [Curbed Toronto]