Tired of sharing your living space with quiet, subdued roommates, with their low-key Ikea couches and Charley Harper prints? Get ready to enter a fantasy wonderland of crazy, because $1,500/month could get you a room in this crap-filled waterfront condo. The decor is an incredible mashup of Las Vegas whorehouse, fake-flower warehouse and 80s thrift shop, all of it either spray-painted gold or covered in pink fake fur. Every tacky ornament your grandma ever gave to the Goodwill has come to this apartment to die, along with quite a few that would have Nana reaching for the smelling salts (how about that pink-plush boner-shaped sofa pillow?). Then there's the wall of terrifying Pierrot masks in the kitchen; their blank, dead eyes will judge you for every Pizza Pop you put in the microwave.
If the decor isn't enough to lure you in, hypnotized, maybe the poster's exciting bio will intrigue you: "I belong to over 25 singles clubs so party on the weekends. I've travelled extensively all of my life -been to every continent and 35 cruises so am able to converse on most topics" (ten bucks says "minimalism" isn't one of them). Would you consider moving into this insanely-cluttered condo?
· Live Large in Downtown Toronto [Kijiji]
· Inside the Hoarder's Mind [Globe]
· Curbed Comparisons Archive [Curbed Toronto]
· Toronto's Worst Rental Horror Stories [The Grid]
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